About Me

My name is Robin, or ‘Ruadeil’. I am a trans woman from the Netherlands. I live together with my bestie and girlfriend Evelyn ‘Zephy’, and a bunch of plants that I hope we can keep alive long enough for our living room to actually become the green paradise I have dreamt of. If we keep trying hard enough maybe we will actually make it. I think that’s a good way to look at things.

This website exists mostly for myself, as a way to write what I’m thinking and to just, get it off my chest. If you want to experience it along with me, welcome! Thank you for reading my ramblings. If you don’t, well, sorry. This is all I have.

I figured out my trans-ness for myself in December 2023, and managed to start hormones in June 2024. So much has changed since then. I feel better, more confident, and most importantly, happier. And while this page is so sickly sweet your teeth may fall out on the spot, I have long left the baby trans phase. A girl can still have her personal place to go a little crazy right?

I’ve always created female characters; and it wasn’t so much for me to have something to look at, no, I wanted to be these characters. I spend quite a long time trying to come up with the name in the first place, far longer than I’m willing to admit. Once I settled on the name, I started playing. Yet another new character, yet another alt from the altoholic that starts a new character as often as she eats breakfast. But Ruadeil was different. Ruadeil stuck. And while more alts were made, and other games were played, and World of Warcraft became less and less interesting, the name stuck. It became me. Many of my friends now refer to me as Rua. I’m used to it.

Now I’m in the rather unique situation of not having a dead name. A dead name is basically the old name that a trans person used to have before they came out as themselves, which usually involves taking on a new name. For me, it was different. I was born as Robin. And somehow, now that I came out as female, I feel the name fits me better than ever; and I’ve grown to love it. That being said, most people just call me Rua. Maybe I could keep it as a second name, since my real one is not very fitting. Eric. Like Cartman? Meh. Rua. Rua will do fine.

I will be posting things I found interesting: music, programming, but also updates from life. Since I came out in 2024, I haven’t been glued to my pc screen anymore. Stuff is actually going on! Suffer it with me :)